Self-Acceptance and Self-Image: The Day I Finally Smiled in the Mirror

Checking In On My Most Important Relationship

We spend a lot of time evaluating our relationships with others: friends, spouses, family members, and coworkers. But when was the last time you paused and asked, “How is my relationship with me?”

That question landed in one of my journaling sessions. My honest answer was that it is improving, but it still needs healing. After more than forty years on this earth, I could not remember many times I had clearly told myself, “I love you,” with the same tenderness I make an effort to give my children, husband, family, and friends. I show up, work hard, and care for everyone, but I rarely stop to speak gently to the person doing all of that: me.

The question that continued to linger was, why?

How A Broken Self-Image Quietly Forms

Over a few journaling sessions, a shortened version of the answer emerged. For years, I have struggled with a mediocre self-image. I wavered about whether I was pretty enough after hearing, when I was younger, comments like, “You are not too bad looking for a ______ girl,” or, “You do not look that bad after all.” Outwardly, I laughed and joked to appear strong. Inwardly, I quietly collected those words like proof.

There were also the things I secretly said about my looks that are not even worth repeating. I would quietly beat myself up whenever I did not reach the level of success I had labeled “perfect.” All of this left me with a fragmented, broken picture of who I was. As long as I kept seeing myself through that image, there was no way for me to build a healthy relationship with myself, because the way I see myself shapes how willing I am to fully embrace who I am.

Seeing Myself And Learning To Accept What I See

Self-image is the picture you carry of yourself: how you think you look, how you believe you are perceived, and where you feel “enough” or “not enough.” Self-acceptance is how you treat the person in that picture.

For a long time, my picture was harsh, and my response to it was even harsher. I loved others out loud and loved myself in a whisper, if at all.

Recently, I started experimenting with mirror work. I am still new to it and often struggle with talking to myself in the mirror. Some days I still want to look away. But about a year ago, something small and huge happened. I caught myself smiling at my own reflection, maybe for the first time in my life. It felt strange and sacred, like my soul whispered, “There you are.”

Why That Smile In The Mirror Matters

That one small smile at myself in the mirror was more than a cute moment. It was a sign that something inside me was beginning to agree with what God has been saying about me all along. Proverbs 15:13 reminds us that, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” As my heart slowly softens toward myself, even my face is beginning to tell a different story.

What I am learning is that this is not just spiritual language. Research has shown that practices like mirror exposure and self-compassion can reduce body dissatisfaction and soften some of the painful, appearance-related concerns many people carry. Even something as simple as choosing to smile can gently increase feelings of happiness, as the expression on our face sends signals back to our brain about how we feel.

For me, that smile in the mirror felt like a tiny agreement between my faith and my feelings. I am not “there” yet. I still feel awkward at times, and I still struggle some days. But that moment reminded me that change is possible, and that learning to accept the face God gave me is part of learning to accept the person I am created to be.

Teaching What I Most Need To Learn

I chuckle sometimes when I think about how this platform was created to encourage, inspire, and uplift, because most of what I pour out in those three areas is exactly what I need myself. I once read a quote that stayed with me: “You teach best what you most need to learn,” by Richard Bach. That line feels like a mirror held up to my entire journey with self-acceptance and self-image.

I am not sharing this because I have mastered it. I am sharing it because I am in it, learning in real time how to see myself more kindly and accept the person I see.

How I See Myself And How I See Others

I am also noticing something else. When I am harsh with myself, I tend to be harsher with others. The way I quietly see myself becomes the lens I use on those I encounter. If I constantly judge my own reflection, it becomes very easy to judge the reflections and lives of the people around me.

That is a much bigger conversation for another day. For now, I believe it begins with the image in the mirror and the story we tell ourselves about what we see.

Three Gentle Ways You Can Begin Too

If you are ready to start healing your own relationship with yourself, here are three simple places to begin.

Journaling: Ask yourself on paper, “What is my relationship with me like right now?” Let the answer be honest, messy, and unedited.

Mirror Work Once a day, look yourself in the eyes. If I love you feels too big, start with, I am learning to be on your side,” or, I am trying to treat you more kindly. Even ten seconds counts.

Evening Gratitude Check-In Before bed, name one thing your body helped you do that day and one way you showed up for yourself. Make it a point to recognize it, even if it was small.

You do not have to wait until you feel beautiful, handsome, successful, or “fixed” to begin. Start with one of these practices today, exactly as you are. That is how a new relationship with yourself quietly begins.

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