Personal Growth Strengthens Marriage

From the moment we were conceived, we’ve been growing. We spent time developing in the womb, then entered the world and continued evolving through stages—from infancy to adolescence and eventually adulthood. Growth is a process vital to our existence. When embraced positively, it can be the gorilla glue that strengthens any relationship.

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Growing Through Marriage, Not Just Going Through It

I’ve known my husband for over 20 years, and we’ve been married for 15. We tied the knot when I was in my late twenties. At the time, I believed I had completed all the "young adult" growth stages. In my mind, I was ready for marriage because, after all, “I was grown.”

I remember the heartfelt words of wisdom shared at our wedding reception about married couples' struggles. I didn’t doubt those challenges existed—I just believed we’d somehow be exempt. “I was grown, mature, and built for this,” I thought.

But years one through seven? They humbled me. I realized there was nothing "grown" about me. I was emotionally fragile, struggled with control issues, and lacked self-control. It took time to recognize these truths. For months, I reassured myself that most of our problems were because of him—his lack of understanding, his inability to grow into the man I wanted, needed, and believed he should be.

Sounds familiar, right? It’s easier to see where someone else needs growth than to turn the mirror on ourselves.

I was so focused on his shortcomings that I ignored my own. I didn’t ask: What am I lacking? How are my behaviors, attitudes, past hurts, and lack of self-control affecting our relationship?

When I finally accepted that I needed growth, everything shifted. I took intentional steps to heal, reflect, and develop in those broken areas. Instead of just going through marriage, I started growing through it. That was my turning point. Every challenge became a growth opportunity, and slowly, our relationship began to bloom.

The Power of Self-Reflection

Today, when conflict arises, I pause. Instead of pointing fingers, I ask:

• What can I learn from this?

• How can I grow through this?

The answers aren’t always easy to hear, but growth isn’t about comfort—it's about progress. That mindset has shaped me into a better wife and person.

Everyone’s marriage journey is different, but there’s one universal truth: When both people commit to personal growth, the relationship does more than survive; it thrives!