What's Heavy on the Heart Isn’t Always a Burden

Today’s prompt for the May journaling series is focused on what’s heavy on the heart.

When I hear that phrase, my first thought is usually sadness, grief, or something that weighs you down emotionally. But today, that’s not how I feel at all. So instead of choosing a new phrase that matched my mood, I decided to stick with this one, just with a different perspective. Because what’s heavy doesn’t always have to be painful! It can be meaningful, joyful, and filled with hope.

That’s the thing about journaling — there’s no one way to do it. No perfect structure. For me, the best journaling happens when I let my pen flow with the rhythm of my heart.

Now, back to the prompt...

At 15, I experienced the loss of someone close to me — my cousin Lexi. It was the first time death truly felt real. I remember our last moment at the hospital. How shocked we all were. She was only 29, full of life, and one of those older cousins we all loved to be around. She even lived with us for a while, which made us even closer.

Her passing was hard for me to understand. Other family members had passed before, but I hadn’t been close to them. Lexi was different. She was a real part of my world, present, loved, and familiar.

This morning, I was talking to “my favorite girl” (aka Mommy 😊), and she reminded me that yesterday marked 29 years since Lexi passed. We did what we usually do — shared memories, told a few stories, and talked about how much we miss her.

But this year felt different. After I hung up the phone, I didn’t feel heavy in the usual way. I felt… grateful. And honestly, hopeful. I sat quietly for a bit and started to imagine Lexi laughing and beaming with joy at how her family is doing, how all the girl cousins are now moms, and how her mother and siblings are doing well. And just like that, I found myself smiling.

"When we are at peace, we begin to soar"- Marquise J.

Then from that smile… came peace.

What used to feel like emotional weight now feels like something warmer.  Not all things that rest on the heart are meant to pull us down. Some are there to remind us of love, of growth, and how far we’ve come.

Today, I’m carrying Lexi’s memory not as a burden, but as a quiet blessing.  Because sometimes, what’s heavy on the heart… is also what makes it whole.